Have you ever felt like you had to compete with someone? What about a dead person? No? Well, that's good b/c it's not fun! I chalk a lot of this up to hormones associated with pregnancy b/c we all know you're not in your correct frame of mind while pregnant! So, needless to say, Ben's first wife is who I feel like I compete with. (Big surprise!) I will start out by saying that in all actuality, Ben does nothing to cause this. It's mostly others and me just being nuts! He has 3 little girls that all remember their Mom very well, while I have 1 child that remembers (and rarely mentions him anymore) and another that has no clue who his Dad was and as far as he's concerned, Ben is his Dad. Our situation is also very unique b/c we didn't divorce our first spouses.....they were taken from us. So, it's not like we chose to leave them. I've been having issues lately of wondering if he misses her....wants me to be more like her....etc. Then there are the constant reminders....one of the girls brings her up or his sister-in-law brings her up to him, etc. It's a lot (for both of us) to deal with. I, on the other hand, rarely have anyone mention Brian to me. Do I still think about him occasionally? Of course! But I don't have people constantly bringing him up to me either. I know that Ben tries hard to consider my feelings and reassure me that I'm the one he thinks about now, etc. It's just hard when I see his 9 yr. old, Taylor, crying b/c she misses her Mom and she wants him to take her to the cemetary and I know that has to bring up some sense of sadness or memories for him. Sometimes I feel like I can't win. The other side to all of this is that I know my self esteem issues don't help. That also makes the doubt creep in. Again, he tries hard to reassure me when he knows how I'm feeling, but I also know if he really missed her, he's not exactly going to come out and tell me that! lol. It's just a very hard situation. Did I mention I'm also 7 months pregnant and getting bigger by the day and that doesn't help my sense of security either! :) So, yeah....I could use your prayers on all of that.

Other than my sanity being in question, things have been fairly normal lately.....well, other than someone always being sick! Cassi had strep last week, Jack had tubes put in last Monday, Ben and I have both not felt 100% lately, so yes, it has been difficult! We've determined if all 7 of us are healthy at the same time, then hell must have frozen over! Jack's tubes went well. Brian's parents came (at their insistence) and things were fine between them and Ben. Very pleasant....Jack did great and was acting like normal that night. I also met with Abby's counselor last Monday night and she said she thought Abby was very well-adjusted for all she's been through in the last year and really didn't feel the need to see her anymore, unless something came up. That was a relief!

Looks like we're having this baby June 15. Yay! :) Oh, and we settled on the name: Aiden Thomas Huey. We both liked the name "Aiden" and then for those of you that don't know, my maiden name is "Thomas", so it worked out quite nice! I'd say out of all 3 of my kids, I'm the "most ready" for this one. Let's get this show on the road! lol. I'm also ready to get back to normal....whatever that means!

Well, that's about it for now. As you can see, you haven't missed a whole lot in the last 2 weeks. Tessa, hope you're enjoying your "crotch rocket", Kelley, kudos to you for wearing a skirt this week, and Missy, hope you're enjoying your spring break! To the rest of you, update your blogs for crying out loud!!!! :) xoxo to all!