June 15 can't some soon enough.....seriously. This pregnancy has been far more excruciating than my 2 previous ones. Physically, emotionally.....you name it! It's been worse! lol. Poor Ben! This week has been very rough physically. I was laying down after I got home from work the other night and just burst into tears for no reason. Ben came upstairs, noticed my watery eyes, and asked what was wrong. I honestly didn't know......darn hormones! lol. On the plus side, my doc's visits are going well and everything appears to be ok, so I honestly shouldn't complain!
The ever present "first wife".......that issue is still present, but only rears its ugly head when something comes up. Mostly, it's the girls talking about her and part of me wants to scream "I don't care!" while the other part of me understands that was their Mom and it's somewhat natural for them to mention her....just not maybe every single day! They can still be a tad bit suffocating at times too. Especially these days, I'm tired and cranky when I get home from work and I need that quiet down time to relax before I get bombarded. They don't get that. All hell breaks loose if Ben leaves to go anywhere. It's like their opportunity to have my full attention or say things they wouldn't say in front of their dad, etc. Half the time, I go in my room and shut the door to keep my sanity! lol.
I think I've hit the bigger highlights! Hope you all are doing well!!! xoxo
Friday, April 30, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Hola Friends!
Sorry it's been so long......I don't know why posting on here seems like such a daunting task sometimes.....Anywho, I could just say "same crap, different day" and be done with this post, but that's not very entertaining for you, is it? Here goes....
Still having some "competition" issues, but they mostly come and go. If something about her comes up, the feeling is much stronger than when things are just "normal." I've talked to my counselor about it and we're working on it. All of my issues boil down to a fear of rejection. My psycho doc hit the nail on the head when he said that all of these feelings I have are so strong b/c the love I have for Ben is very different from the love I had for Brian. The deeper I fall for Ben the greater my fear becomes of "losing him." I mean that in many different ways.....regardless, my counselor is definitely tapping into some issues, which I guess is what I pay him for anyway, right? lol.
8 weeks from tomorrow will be Aiden's arrival! I know it will fly, but I'm ready! Granted, there's a lot we don't have, etc, but I'm not freaking out. lol. A friend of mine is throwing me a small shower, so hopefully that can fill in the gaps of what we don't have. Sucks that I gave everything I had away, but then again, I wasn't expecting to have another baby!!!!!
So, I had to have "the talk" with the twins a couple of weeks ago. They'll be 11 next month and Britney had started her period. Oh, boy! What a jumpstart into being the mom of preteen! lol. I wasn't ready for this AT ALL. The poor girls knew NOTHING and I mean.....NOTHING! I warned Ben ahead of time that the sex talk might end up in there and was he ok with that. He was fine with it b/c he didnt' have to do it! lol. So, what a night that was! LOL. I tried to stick to the basics. At least I have good practice now for when Abby gets older! Between the twins and then doing the talk again when Taylor's ready, I'll be a pro by then! ha!
Other than that, I don't think you've missed much. Still very much in love and very happy! :) We've had our "disagreements" with lots of tears from me (gotta love hormones!) but we work it out and move on! Love you all!
Still having some "competition" issues, but they mostly come and go. If something about her comes up, the feeling is much stronger than when things are just "normal." I've talked to my counselor about it and we're working on it. All of my issues boil down to a fear of rejection. My psycho doc hit the nail on the head when he said that all of these feelings I have are so strong b/c the love I have for Ben is very different from the love I had for Brian. The deeper I fall for Ben the greater my fear becomes of "losing him." I mean that in many different ways.....regardless, my counselor is definitely tapping into some issues, which I guess is what I pay him for anyway, right? lol.
8 weeks from tomorrow will be Aiden's arrival! I know it will fly, but I'm ready! Granted, there's a lot we don't have, etc, but I'm not freaking out. lol. A friend of mine is throwing me a small shower, so hopefully that can fill in the gaps of what we don't have. Sucks that I gave everything I had away, but then again, I wasn't expecting to have another baby!!!!!
So, I had to have "the talk" with the twins a couple of weeks ago. They'll be 11 next month and Britney had started her period. Oh, boy! What a jumpstart into being the mom of preteen! lol. I wasn't ready for this AT ALL. The poor girls knew NOTHING and I mean.....NOTHING! I warned Ben ahead of time that the sex talk might end up in there and was he ok with that. He was fine with it b/c he didnt' have to do it! lol. So, what a night that was! LOL. I tried to stick to the basics. At least I have good practice now for when Abby gets older! Between the twins and then doing the talk again when Taylor's ready, I'll be a pro by then! ha!
Other than that, I don't think you've missed much. Still very much in love and very happy! :) We've had our "disagreements" with lots of tears from me (gotta love hormones!) but we work it out and move on! Love you all!
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