Well, it's February.....lots of mixed emotions about this month. On the one hand, my birthday is this month as well as the ever romantic Valentine's Day....not that I can't show my husband I love him on any day other than the 14th! On the other hand, this Saturday marks 1 year since Brian died. I have no doubt it will be a day of mixed emotions. Remembering and "living it" again will be hard, but I'm so thankful for Ben and what he means to me. Things are still tough with Brian's family at times. I'd say right now there's peace amongst Larry, Patty, Beth, and myself. They are really striving to accept Ben and my new family. I can't say the same for their extended family, but I've learned to just focus on the "important" ones....being Larry, Patty, and Beth. I think one of the hardest things for me still is that they *assume* that just b/c I've remarried I've just gotten over everything and forgotten about Brian and that will never happen. I still think of him often, sometimes with happy thoughts and sometimes sadness. I don't think they'll ever understand that, but then again, I don't think you can unless you've lost a spouse, or more importantly, you've been in my exact place. Anyhoo, those are my thoughts on that!
Thursday's the big day! Confirmation we're having a girl.....ha ha! I'll be shocked if it's a boy, but we'll see! We've tossed around some names, but nothing definite. As Ben and I said (and every other parent) we truly just want a healthy baby!
Ben got a job. He's going to start working for the Dayton Daily News sometime this month. A guy his uncle works with is retiring, so Ben is going to take his place. The only down side is the hours are 11:30pm-5am. The upside is that he'll always be home days and evenings, which is how we needed to work it. Paying for 2 houses is proving quite expensive, so we needed some more financial assistance to cover bills! I plan on renting out my house until the market's good enough to sell, but I have to get it emptied first! Ugghhh! The thought is overwhelming! Thank goodness Ben is a hard worker!
Well, that's about all the rambling I'll do today. Happy Monday!
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4 comments:
I have a little experience with the whole opposing schedule thing, and I'm not going to lie to you, it freakin sucks. But, it does make appreciate the time you do have together even more. You'll me alright, I promise. Praying for you guys.
And you're having a boy. :)
I can't wait to hear if it's a boy or girl!!
Bummer on the house, bummer on the hours...that can be a hard adjustment...but, my Dad worked 3rd shift, and it was neat, because, especially while we were in school, he was there when we were getting ready to leave, slept while we were gone, and was THERE for us all evening, before he went to work... Weekends were rough for him, though, because he had "normal people" hours...SO, praying :) Ya gotta do what ya gotta do sometimes....
ANYWAYS, {{{{{Hugs}}}}} On some level I understand about Brian...it's kinda like when I lost our 1st baby, and then got pregnant with Abbey... Some people assumed that that was the end, but every year, I remember the anniversary. Being blessed again isn't the same as forgetting and "getting over it."
Talk to ya later :) Love ya!! :)
Mandy
Thinking of you!
Can't wait to hear what the new "Brady" will be named!
I'm just in awe of you! I'm sure this is a tough month, but you sound like you've really talked through it all. I know it will be hard....and that's certainly okay. You'll never "get over" Brian and I wish that you're in-laws would understand that....but you'll never make them do that. They have to learn that on their own.
Hubby and I worked separate shifts for a while....it wasn't the best at first, but we learned to cope with it. Plus, Ben will be home with the kiddos and you'll be home with them too. The problem with it when Hubby and I did it is that he worked 4:30pm-1:30am....we never saw one another.
I can't wait to hear what you're having!! Lots of Love!
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